Only one thing stands in the way of my bricks...

THIS MAN!

Now, I'm not usually one to point fingers, but I've been getting asked constantly over the past few months: "Have you gotten your bricks yet??? How's the oven??? Is it done yet???" And at a UH tailgate several months ago, THIS MAN (let's call him "Pizza Enemy #1") stated that he knew a brick guy and would get me a quote. The following morning I woke up thinking that we already placed an order with his contact while tailgating (which, I'd have to check, but I'm pretty sure would be the first "drunk brick-buying" in the history of mankind), but alas we had not ='(

So I ask of you, he who stands in the critical path of my pizza oven, how much for a palette of your friend's finest, cheapest bricks, plus 200 refractory bricks?

(sorry Thomas, this was much more fun than just reminding you about it, even though we just talked about it on Sunday teehehehehehe!)

And to all you haters out there complaining how this was my first post since July, all I can say is...better late than never! New Year's Resolution 2012, finishing my pizza oven WOO WOO WOO WOO WOO!!!!!

Setting Down the Trowel for the Flour

Now I know what you're all thinking: "Rubik, we can tell that you've turned into quite the master craftsmen/builder, but can you even cook pizza??"

ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? I'VE GOT PIZZA SAUCE RUNNING THROUGH MY VEINS!!!

Step 1: Preparing the Dough


Alright so first I need to make sure the concrete mixer is super-clean, then toss in the flou...actually, I only made a couple pizzas so no need to use the heavy-duty concrete mixer. Instead, I finally got to bring my bread machine out of retirement, and I only use the finest bread flour (ok ok, so I can't really tell the difference...but if it costs more then it MUST be better, right???)

After the dough gets mixed and kneaded in the bread machine, I give it a light coat of flour and stick it in a bowl (I add the flour so it doesn't stick to the bowl). Then I cover the bowl with a towel and stick it in the oven until I'm ready to use it.



Step 2: Preparing the toppings

I decided to make a pretty simple pizza - chicken, sauce, cheese, and basil - and added some basic ingredients to spice it up. I figure I can start off fairly basic then change up the ingredients as I gain more pizza-making experience to tweak the taste. Two must-have flavors are garlic and onions (NOTE: RUBIK'S PIZZA IS NOT RECOMMENDED FOR DATES, VAMPIRES, OR DATES WITH VAMPIRES)



I sauteed the garlic and onions, then threw the chicken in with it and seared it for a little on each side, then covered it up on a low heat to soak in all the garlicky goodness



Next, I chopped up some more onions and garlic as well as some fresh basil and oregano for the sauce. I learned quickly that even at a low heat, the sauce needs to be stirred constantly or else it starts bubbling and popping.



Step 3: Preparing the Pizza

Once the sauce was done, I rolled out my dough into the size of my pizza peel (you know, that wooden thing that the pizza goes on before it goes in the oven). One day I'll learn how to toss pizza dough, but for now I have to rely on my rolling pin. I think I need to look into different dough recipes (the one I used is the one that came with the bread machine), I gotta do something different for the dough to be easier to roll out.

Once the dough was ready, I put on a layer of sauce (not too much so it doesn't get all soggy), added the fresh mozzarella (rather than grate the cheese, I sliced the mozzarella and dropped pieces all around the pizza. That's how they did it at Grimaldi's in Brooklyn, so that's how I'm gonna do it dammit!), then added my chicken and basil. I added a light brush of olive oil around the edge of the crust then VOILA!



Step 4: Baking the pizza

Now when my brick oven is complete, this process should only take 1.5 to 2 minutes to cook the pizza. However, it'll take a solid 45 minutes to get the oven up to 800 degrees. Since my brick oven is still under construction I had to resort to a conventional oven. I do, however, have a baking stone, except I probably should've preheated it a lot longer so the dough would be crispier



Step 5: EAT!

Ever since childhood, this has been by far my favorite step. I liked the sauce and toppings, but I think I really need to work on the crust. It wasn't quite the consistency I want, and I definitely want it to be crispier on the bottom.

Regardless, this was a nice break from construction, although now I can no longer avoid the much-dreaded and intimidating Step 6: Ordering Bricks

You Gotta Have Hearth

A couple months ago, all I had was a concrete slab with a buncha concrete blocks on top filled with concrete...but NOW I have a concrete slab with a buncha concrete blocks on top filled with concrete AND a concrete hearth stone on top of all of that! Sounds pretty simple, right? Just throw a big stone on top of all the pre-existing stones and VOILA! If only it were that easy...

I started building the frame for the hearth stone a few weeks ago. So like most of my oven-building endeavors, it started off with a trip to Home Depot. Check out the new armrest I installed in my car!



Unfortunately, as soon as I got home I had to disassemble the armrest so I could build these supports for the hearth stone. Apparently it's good to have additional support when you're setting 840 pounds of concrete on top of something:



Now that these supports are in, I stick a massive piece of plywood on top of it, build the frame around the edge, and now VOILA!



At this point I thought "ok I just need to buy some rebar and concrete and I'll be ready for the next step! However, my "VOILA" was spoiled yet again when I realized my frame needed to be 3 inches higher. So I dilly-dallied for a few weeks then finally got back on it this weekend and ACTUALLY finished the frame:



Much better...now that that's finally done, I just need to buy 10 more bags of concrete mix (I only had 4 bags leftover from my original purchase of 80 60lb bags) and 2 cubic feet of something called "Vermiculite". Apparently this is supposed to add a layer of insulation so the heat from the oven doesn't make the area below the oven too hot (down there where the supports are. Eventually the wood for the oven is gonna get stored there). No one at Home Depot had ever heard of vermiculite, and the first employee at Lowes hadn't heard of it either, so for a minute I thought I was going to have to delay this next step until I could find some vermiculite somewhere. The real fun part was trying to explain what I thought it was to the Home Depot and Lowes employees. Fortunately, I ended up finding someone at Lowes who could help me out, so I lost my excuse to procrastinate!



Now that I had my vermiculite set and had my concrete ready, all I needed to do was start mixing and pouring then VOILA!



...Ok ok so I'm a bag or two short, BUT I'm not taking away the "VOILA!" this time. Once this frame is done setting, the next step is to level out the surface with sand then start covering the surface with refractory bricks. So it's okay that I'm a wee-bit short (and unable to completely level the concrete) because i'm going to level it with sand anyways! Uh oh, I'm starting to sound confident in calling audibles to the instructions...this could be dangerous! There was one step that I wasn't quite able to figure out but didn't audible:



The pictures said to add a gap in the frame for this little area, except no where did it explain the purpose this thing will serve. Hopefully I find out by the end of my construction. For all I know, this could be the single most important step in the construction that's holding everything together.

I'm sure a lot of you are wondering when the "brick" aspect of the "wood-burning brick oven" is going to make an appearance. Soon. Very soon. First I need to let the slab finish setting for the rest of the week, then I can take the frame off and remove the supports from down below. After that, I am forced to buy some bricks! I guess I should start Googling "how to lay bricks"

Jenny Craig ain't got nothin on me!

I just lost 4,560 pounds in just over 6 weeks. I know...it's crazy...but it's true. I've only got 240 more pounds to go!



I never thought I'd say it, but I'm almost out of concrete =-O

Where did it all go, you ask? Well 55-ish bags went into the slab, and another 21 went into filling these blocks so I can have a sturdy base to build the hearth on:



This was a lot more work than I initially thought, but there were two factors that made this task a little easier. The first factor is...my new shovel!!! Check it out in action:



Second, I decided to splurge a little and hire a day-laborer. I picked this guy cause I could tell from his sandals that he really knew what he was doing...actually it's because the price was soooo right:



Thanks again, Curtis!

So, I realize that last time I posted I listed three tasks for myself to complete...annnnd I only got around the one of them. I haven't added herbs to the garden yet, the main reason being sheer laziness. And I haven't ordered bricks yet, but there's actually a legitimate reason for that. I figure I can add the bricks later on (you know, after I learn how to actually lay them), so I want to continue to work on prepping for the hearth slab. I need to build another frame on top of the support I've built so I can pour more concrete for the hearth slab, which is what the pizza will actually cook on. I can't believe I'm about to say this, but I think I need to buy more concrete...

Update Time!! Can You Dig It??

No. You cannot dig it. My freaking shovel broke.



Look Shovelina, it's obvious only one of us is committed to this project. You think you're so special?? I dig, and I dig, and I dig, and what do you do for me? I'm through with yo rusty ass! Oh, you think I NEEEED you??

You must not know 'bout me, you must not know 'bout me
I can have another you by tomorrow
So don't you ever for a second get to thinking...you're irreplaceable

BAM!


...'Cause the truth of the matter is [going to Home Depot and] replacing you was so easyYYYyyyYYyyyyy

Alright, now that THAT'S taken care of...on to the real updates! Although I haven't updated the blog in a few weeks, I've actually been decently productive:

I took the frame off my slab (hence the pile of wood in my yard)



I know what you're thinking, "I didn't know there was a Lego kit for pizza ovens!!!" I had to make two trips to haul home these 38 double and 4 single blocks. The hardest part was actually trying to explain to the Home Depot employee what I meant by "Big-Boy Legos"



So...I still have to fill these holes with concrete so this thing won't budge, but I wanted to make sure I had the right number of blocks.

I've also got an update on my garden! You say tomato, I say "it just looks like a tiny stem to me!" I know I know, it's still early. It'll get better with thyme (teehehehehehe!!!!)



I'll tell you what I WON'T be growing in my garden: gonorrhea



Ok, someone back me up here. Does this not look like it says "gonorrhea" when you read it upside down?? Well that's what I thought when I saw it like this on the counter one morning (btw Garo, false alarm, Jackie apparently brought "Gomphrena" into our home...sorry for the mix-up)

So what's next you ask??

1. Fillin' up those "Big Boy Legos" with concrete
2. Adding some herbs to the garden
3. Ordering bricks!
   

We slab swangin' comin down and through, I thought you knew

Well it finally happened. I finally got my slab set. I think I need to make a new Urban Dictionary entry:

slab
Slab stands for "Slow, Laborious And Backbreaking", particularly when referencing Rubik's pizza oven endeavours
"Yo Rubik, you been talkin about that pizza oven for years now, you finally lay that SLAB concrete??"



Roughly 3,000 pounds of concrete went into this bad boy. After 5-ish hours of pouring concrete, I amassed quite an impressive pile of garbage.



I think I went through 55 bags of concrete mix (NOTE: these are unaudited inventory numbers), although we got rid of some of the excess concrete when leveling the slab. Big thanks to Jeff McCabe for helping with the leveling (and a little thanks to Bhavika for her shoveling efforts!). Also, thanks to the concrete mixer for holding up during the five hours of slabbing. If anyone wants to borrow this loyal helper anytime, let me know:



Ok so now that the slab is done, I can take 3 years off til I work on the next step...tee hee jk! Next step is figuring out what all I need to order next. Pretty sure I need at least a palette of bricks...and I should probably learn how to mortar (is that a verb? Cause I just made it one).

On a completely random note, here is my "Leaning Tower of Concrete", which fortunately did not fall before I finished using all of these bags:

How many accountants does it take to pour concrete?

Sooo I'm hoping to know the answer to this riddle NEXT weekend. I know I know, I said I was gonna pour the slab THIS weekend, but I have legitimate reasons for the delay: 1) I had to go into the office on Saturday and I was there a lot longer than I thought I'd be; 2) After I left work I helped my brother and his wife paint their new house; 3) THERE WERE MUTHAEFFIN FIRE ANTS ALL OVER AND AROUND THE FRAME WHERE I'M GONNA POUR THE CONCRETE!!!

The last thing I want is these ants to carry away my concrete as I pour it (they're pretty strong...I should've hired them to move all those 60 lb bags to my backyard), so first i'mma kill those sommabitches (both the queen AND the mound!)



I don't want you all to think I've just been bumming around all weekend...I've actually been VERY productive:

I bought a concrete mixer (it was much more financially practical to purchase one for $285 rather than rent for $50 per day, seeing that it only takes 6 days of usage for me to recover my cost. Trust me...I'm a CPA)



I put together the aforementioned concrete mixer (and it looks a lot like the picture, if I may say so myself)



I put some reinforcing stakes in the ground around my frame (just in case my frame is too much of a wuss to handle thousands of pounds of concrete), and also sized the reinforcing metal mesh dealie to fit the hole (the checkerboard-looking thing in there)



Also, there's a lot more to great pizza than just a wood-burning brick oven...I need fresh veggies too!

I've been growing some tomato seeds



I dug up my garden area in my backyard (I wonder if my neighbors have started to get worried about all the holes I've dug back there...)



And I bought some garden soil to fill in the veggie hole. So...when I was loading the bags in my car at Lowes, I noticed the guy next to me in the parking lot kept trying to make eye contact. When I finally looked over, he said "I got what you need right here" in a very, VERY creepy manner while signaling towards his van. Part of me wanted to just get in the car and drive away...but I was intrigued. I went over, thinking he had some sort of illegal veggie-growing contraband...but all he was showing me was the massive cargo space in his van =(



Alright, so next weekend, weather permitting, I'm pouring concrete. For those of you haters that don't believe me, this video is for you: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pc0mxOXbWIU