We slab swangin' comin down and through, I thought you knew

Well it finally happened. I finally got my slab set. I think I need to make a new Urban Dictionary entry:

slab
Slab stands for "Slow, Laborious And Backbreaking", particularly when referencing Rubik's pizza oven endeavours
"Yo Rubik, you been talkin about that pizza oven for years now, you finally lay that SLAB concrete??"



Roughly 3,000 pounds of concrete went into this bad boy. After 5-ish hours of pouring concrete, I amassed quite an impressive pile of garbage.



I think I went through 55 bags of concrete mix (NOTE: these are unaudited inventory numbers), although we got rid of some of the excess concrete when leveling the slab. Big thanks to Jeff McCabe for helping with the leveling (and a little thanks to Bhavika for her shoveling efforts!). Also, thanks to the concrete mixer for holding up during the five hours of slabbing. If anyone wants to borrow this loyal helper anytime, let me know:



Ok so now that the slab is done, I can take 3 years off til I work on the next step...tee hee jk! Next step is figuring out what all I need to order next. Pretty sure I need at least a palette of bricks...and I should probably learn how to mortar (is that a verb? Cause I just made it one).

On a completely random note, here is my "Leaning Tower of Concrete", which fortunately did not fall before I finished using all of these bags:

How many accountants does it take to pour concrete?

Sooo I'm hoping to know the answer to this riddle NEXT weekend. I know I know, I said I was gonna pour the slab THIS weekend, but I have legitimate reasons for the delay: 1) I had to go into the office on Saturday and I was there a lot longer than I thought I'd be; 2) After I left work I helped my brother and his wife paint their new house; 3) THERE WERE MUTHAEFFIN FIRE ANTS ALL OVER AND AROUND THE FRAME WHERE I'M GONNA POUR THE CONCRETE!!!

The last thing I want is these ants to carry away my concrete as I pour it (they're pretty strong...I should've hired them to move all those 60 lb bags to my backyard), so first i'mma kill those sommabitches (both the queen AND the mound!)



I don't want you all to think I've just been bumming around all weekend...I've actually been VERY productive:

I bought a concrete mixer (it was much more financially practical to purchase one for $285 rather than rent for $50 per day, seeing that it only takes 6 days of usage for me to recover my cost. Trust me...I'm a CPA)



I put together the aforementioned concrete mixer (and it looks a lot like the picture, if I may say so myself)



I put some reinforcing stakes in the ground around my frame (just in case my frame is too much of a wuss to handle thousands of pounds of concrete), and also sized the reinforcing metal mesh dealie to fit the hole (the checkerboard-looking thing in there)



Also, there's a lot more to great pizza than just a wood-burning brick oven...I need fresh veggies too!

I've been growing some tomato seeds



I dug up my garden area in my backyard (I wonder if my neighbors have started to get worried about all the holes I've dug back there...)



And I bought some garden soil to fill in the veggie hole. So...when I was loading the bags in my car at Lowes, I noticed the guy next to me in the parking lot kept trying to make eye contact. When I finally looked over, he said "I got what you need right here" in a very, VERY creepy manner while signaling towards his van. Part of me wanted to just get in the car and drive away...but I was intrigued. I went over, thinking he had some sort of illegal veggie-growing contraband...but all he was showing me was the massive cargo space in his van =(



Alright, so next weekend, weather permitting, I'm pouring concrete. For those of you haters that don't believe me, this video is for you: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pc0mxOXbWIU

New Workout - the 4,800 lb concrete lift

For all of you out there who had some sort of fitness goal as one of your New Year's Resolutions, I've got a GREAT new workout that's sure to break your back!

First, order 80 bags of 60 lb concrete mix, have it delivered to your driveway



Then, carry one of the previously mentioned bags of concrete mix to your backyard (fortunately the 60 pound bags are "easy to handle", vs the much heftier 80 pound bags)



And finally, repeat 79 more times




***NOTE - THIS WORKOUT IS NOT ADVISABLE IF YOU DO NOT HAVE A PURPOSE FOR 4,800 POUNDS OF CONCRETE MIX..BECAUSE THEN YOU WILL HAVE TO CARRY IT BACK TO THE DRIVEWAY AND HAVE IT HAULED AWAY***

So I realize that this is my first post in several months, but there are several factors to blame for my lack of pizza-oven-building, which include (but are not limited to):

1. The freezing weather in early February
2. My two-week vacation to Nigeria to find a bride(s)
   
3. Alcohol

Also, I recently quit my job so I could fully focus on the oven. KIDDING! I start my new job next Monday. Besides, if I can't pay my mortgage, I lose my yard, and the bank that forecloses on my house gets 80 bags of concrete (cause I sure as hell ain't gonna take it with me!)

Next step is actually mixing/pouring the concrete. I would do it this weekend, but I'll be in New York Thursday through Sunday doing extensive pizza research at the finest pizzerias in the Big Apple. Plus I need some time for my back to recover after hauling all those bags (proper lifting techniques can only help so much...).

HOWEVER! April 16...it's goin dowwwwn...gonna rent a mixer...it's goin dowwwwn...gonna pour my slab...it's goin dowwwwn...dunno wtf i'm doin but it's guaranteed to go dowwwwn
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FcTp_z9ulBM